Sep. 15th, 2011

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A pampered house cat, hopefully.
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Stretched really thin this week. Just wanna crash and sleep over the weekend but I can't because I'm going on a road trip to Patrick Wolf, which is almost as exciting a prospect as sleep. Two more hectic days of work. And then two more hectic days of fun. I need to stop scheduling things on weekends because those are pretty much the only two hectic-free days that I have to do school work. Although, I got some work completed at Field Placement. I feel I'll be behind again this week. :(

I'm feeling really overwhelmed and felt like crying several times this week because it feels like too much and I feel like I'm in over my head. Can't wait to talk to my therapist on Friday. Can't wait to meet up with my buddy Jana on Friday too. The cyMentor meeting was a welcome break fro "all school all the time."

So much more to prattle on about that needs to come out but I took ambien and am quickly fading.

I will say that there's a noticeable disconnect between the privileged students who THINK they understand their clients versus those of us who actually WERE at some point uderpriveleged and disenfranchised and KNOW we understand much of what our clients go through. Explaining that difference in perspective isn't easy when, because you attend an Ivy League graduate program, your cohorts assume that ALL their cohorts have come from a background similar to their own.

No, mine was full of pumps and detours to get here.

I tried to say that I understood the nightmare of navigating public assistance because I've done it more than once and been on public assistance more than once. My fellow intern jumps in with, "Oh I KNOW! I used to have to take clients down there all the time and it was BAD." I'm glad you noticed that but you DON'T KNOW. You don't REALLY have ANY idea what it's like sitting there until you're IN that position. Until you're the on desperate to the point that they actually have to swallow their pride and bear their shame with courage, walk into that office, and be treated as something less than human. Experiencing that first hand and bearing witness to it are too ENTIRELY separate things so don't tell me you understand what it's like just from watching it because YOU DO NOT.

I want to rant way more on this topic but I'm tired, it's 4am and I need to be up by 8:45am.

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rdwaynewright

December 2011

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